This Is Depression The darknessand Iare one.
SolitudeFrom dusk to dawn,my soul...it lingerscold andalonein this desolate placethat we callreality.Though inhabitedby many,these arebleak andforsaken grounds.I feel thatI'm trappedwith no way out,no escape,no blissawaiting me...Without a future,without a purpose,my yearning soul...it roamsthis earth;this grave...As the darknesscontinues toconsume me...As the numbnessfeeds onthe remnantsof my sanitya littleeach day.
DryCutting myself drybecause of you.
Childhood Thoughts...Always a houseNever a home...
BrokenCan't fixwhat's never been whole.
Mental SuicideI just might kill myself again.
Falling...Falling…Falling, falling into a bottomless pit…The final resting placein which unresolved mattersof conflicting emotionsreside.All anger!Hate!Grief!Depression!and regret…Lie h i d d e n . in the gravein which they were buried under.So hard I’ve strived.to hide the bitternessand negativityof mythoughts and feelings.I’ve invested plenty.in tryingto cover up the s t a i n s;bleach them away…Yet they resurface again.making themselves more familiarto my eye and heart,if so is possible.Pushing their way back.into my mind filledwith the l i e s.of happiness and joy;of false security and comfort.I know.That nothing.can enlighten me now.as I cry the night away;my pain gnawing at my soul,feasting away on the c r u m b sof my dignity and pride.I know.I cannot be saved.as I bleed a steady streamof
NumbI'm so numbthat ithurts.
Afraid and Alone...Tears stream downfrom forlorn eyesA fountain of purest substance,flooded with lies...Tainted by insult;my disrespected youthShrouded in deceitand deviated from the truth.Beaten down by thosewho held my trust...And taken advantage ofwith a searing lustConsequence camewith anything that I said;Whether 'twas fib or fact,my tears were shed.I barely withstoodtheir trembling furyTormented and questionedby my own kinsmen's jury...I could take it no longer;the road was too rough...My virtue was eclipsing;silence and faith wasn't enoughI lost my path in dusk;my innocence fled to darker landsWith a box of sharp objects,I took matters into my own hands...Shrouded by mists of confusion and pain,I didn't know what to doLeft afraid and alone,there was not one soul I could turn to...And even if there was...They wouldn't have cared to know...They wouldn't have cared at all...And they wouldn't have understood.
Cardiac ArrestBreak these chains Around my heart.
I Won't Let GoWhat happened to you?Your hollow eyes, sunken into your head.Your pale skin, stretched over your brittle bones.Your raven hair, falling in strands into your jet black eyes.Your gangly arms and your long, spindly fingers grasping for a sense of reality.But what scared me the most were your scars.Long, thin scars ran down your face, arms, and legs like veinsOne scar for every time you made a mistake.One scar for every time your heart shattered.It made you look...inhuman.Your eyes were almost like that of a madman's.They glinted with pain, sorrow, and regret.Remember when your eyes used to be a brilliant blue?As I recall, they were a beautiful shade, like the sea; crystal clear.Now, your eyes were fogged.They became dull orbs of lifelessness.You told me it was because of the pain.I wanted to help you, but you refused.'Best if I'm left alone,' you'd say sadly.You barely even talked now.I almost wonder what's in that brain of yours.What could've happened
Stay AlivePlease.Talk to me.Tell me what shattered your heart inside.Your heart is beating, yet, you're not alive.You're hearing, yet, you're not listening.You've become a black shadow.Lifeless.I can see the demons in your eyes.Your eyes have glazed over.Your life is coming to an end.But yet, you're still healthy, still alive.You smile to hide your pain.But you're slowly dying inside.You keep saying 'I'm fine', when I know you're not.You tell me 'it's just a phase. Don't worry'But I've never worried so much before.You're like a leafYour beauty slowly withering away, unbeknownst to everyone around you.Soon, you're going to fall from the tree, and hit the ground.People will walk over you, ignoring how much pain they've caused your heart.But hold on.Please.It gets better, I promise.Your heart will beat once again.I'm hoping for a sign of life.I'm watching for those eyes to fill with joy, like they used to be.I beg you with all my heart.Stay alive.For me.
New GrowthSometimes I wonder if humanity is capable of new growth?How come history keeps on repeating itself, restlessly, over and over again?Have we learned nothing of suffering?Of whole generations condemned to the simple act of dying?Genocide is still at large and we act as if it ended with the fall of the Nazis.But then, we ignore the existence of the Neo Nazis.Blindfolded we are by the media and the governmentwho feed us the same empty promises.Each holding the same flavor as the last...And my generation, drowning in the apathy of facebook and twitter...Apathy of themselves, the lost generation.Did the passion of the 60s wear inspiration down?How come we have allowed the fall of two giants scare us back to our little holes?“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together”Remember?
ALONEHow I feel at any momentALONEHow can I tell someoneand what will they dowhen I want toso dearly and helplessly,to run away from this world?ALONEAnd because I am so strongI am able to live a lifefull and not dullALONEMy thoughts and my mindlet my true feelingsthat have been bubbling upall let outin a burst of painful emotionALONEI wish that Ididn't always feel soALONEI wish that Icould find a wayto rid myselfof these horrid thoughtsALONEI wish that my true emotionswould show throughwhen I can be consolledand not beALONEIn the endwill I always be soALONE?Where am I when a hugwould cure me ofthe simplest or most complicated distress?ALONEWhere will I always bewhen consolation would be great?ALONE
Point of ViewMy world has crumbledto black and whiteDulled to a rainbowof graysHardly a wispof color in sight...Only darkness remains.
Elemental Flames | Chapter 1Elemental FlamesChapter 1 - A Book of AdventuresSigh.It was all I could do now. Packing my stuff, preparing to leave Solaria for maximum a month to take part in the Festival of the Sun in Soleanna. I have tried it before. Last year and the year before that. It was okay. I enjoyed it, really. But I can't lie and say that everything was a blast. It was a little bittersweet. Being there reminded me about my last adventure with Silver."Silver…" The name slipped past my lipsMy best friend I have ever had. Just thinking about him hurts. I miss his sweet kindness; I miss his face, his way of helping people he hardly know, his determination, but most of all, I really miss his total naïve nature. His naivety is what I really like about him.My life has gotten harder after I had to leave him. I wish I could just see him once more. See his warm smile that always made me smile. However, I don't think I can. After sealing Iblis, the Flames of
Glass HeartIt's broken after you threw it on the floorCracks are evident, shattered at the coreShards of me splintering as my glass heart breaksI never realized how little it takesMy perfectly sculpted masterpiece of a soulIs now black like unused coalSo many little pieces, will they fit back together?Will my glass heart ever feel better?Sharp to the touch, I must leave it broken nowIf I'll love again, I don't know how
Elemental Flames | Chapter 3.2Elemental FlamesChapter 3 - Songs with Feelings Deep inside Soleanna Forest…Sitting in front of a small lake against a tree, sat the feline and cried her tears off in pain."Why can't they just leave me for myself? It is much better that way." I said whimpering, sniffling all this time while hiding my face in my knees and my arms around my legs as I just pressed my head down in my bare lavender knees.After Blaze arrived at Soleanna, she manage to get around the question on why her pants were all dirty from her make-up and her eyes black. She did not need to change her shirt but she did change into a pair of dark blue shorts while she had white converse on instead of white sandals.I do not know how long I cried, possibly for ten minutes before I started to calm a bit down, still sniffling as the pain of losing my friends almost bored into my heart."Chao?""Chao, chao."I looked up from my wet knees,
Elemental Flames | Chapter 3.1Elemental FlamesChapter 3 - Songs with Feelings"I can't change, change. I won't change, I'll always be running away." Marine sang as she had her earphones on, the volume turned on full sound."Marine, stop singing it! It's very old anyway." I half shouted at her in embarrassment before face palming.The song she sang was one of my own made songs, which is very old. As Marine had already sung the refrain of the song, it is called Change. It was how I was before Silver stepped into my life, how I always ran away from my problems instead of facing them, but after seeing his ruined home, I had to stand on my own feet and fight back. I started to learn how powerful I was, and I could actually control my powers more and more by the years. It was also around this time when I figured that I had feelings for Silver and that I liked him more than just a friend, even though I kept denying it and told myself that it was probably my imagination."I
Bye Bye Beautiful.Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. The sound of his own heartbeat pulsed like the vibrations from a drumbeat inside his fragile shell that was known as his ribcage, his boiled blood throbbed unyieldingly like an iron hammer from inside his ears he could hear the organs compacted inside his body snapping and crackling like the crackling sounds of fireworks exploding. The sound of his heart was beating as wildly as a galloping horse in his ears, solid thumps echoed inside his eardrums painfully as Silver laid there like shattered pieces of glass from a window across the concrete floor with only one thing circling around his conscious. . . He couldn’t give up. He refused to give up. Silver had to free her soul from the madness that it possessed before it drove her into the hands of death.Steadily, the psychokinesis teenager pushed himself up using his arms as if he was doing push-ups, the bones within him shifted back into place in the process like wooden pieces that created
Elemental Flames | Chapter 2Elemental FlamesChapter 2 - New missionStaring out, up on the black board, was several information we needed to write down. Sighing out, I ruffled around in my pencil case and found my pencil.Yeah, this school is a bit old school on technology. But so is many others. Researchers figured out that we students learn more without having an iPad or mini laptop in front of us; with other words, no electronic devices are allowed inside classes, not even having our phone bracelets on us.Well, back to class. The pen moved ever so slowly over the paper as I kept glancing up on the board. A strange warmth down in my pocket, caught myself off guard. I narrowed my eyes slightly, my hand slowly slipping down into the blue pocket of my jeans.Looking around, I made sure nobody was looking at me. Getting hold of the white emerald, I felt something familiar. Heard a familiar voice."Please, Silver. Help me."My eyes shot wide open.
Results From Unrequited Love and HeartbreakYou Ismile, shatter,laugh, crumble,flick ascendravenhairdon't sink...loveme
Elemental Flames | Chapter 4Elemental FlamesChapter 4 - Resurrection of an Old EnemySkimming around my surroundings, I found myself in a big metrological city. Probably "present" version of New Westopolis or something like that. Looking at my left, I saw a sign where it stood "Welcome to Empire City!" with big fat letters."Empire City, huh? Well, gotta start somewhere." I said loudly to myself, lifted off and levitated over the skyscrapers.Once I got on top of one of the large buildings, I heard screaming from lots of people down the streets. As I looked down, I spotted the reason on why they were screaming in terror. Apparently, robots were destroying the city, leaded by a person I do not know who was. Quickly, I flied down there, slammed, punched, kicked through the machines and used my powers to lift the robots and collide them with the others.'Well, I didn't exactly expect to get into a fight with his robots right away. Or what? Are they Nega's mechs? They
I can't breathe no moreThe whispering wind drops off memories on the road Smells of winter.Foggy trees, hidden flowers, fleeting scenery, everything blurs The maze of my brain.Shivering as if I was drunk with grief Depressive liquor.Human wreck stares at me, hollow gaze A mirror.My past lives are hung on the wall of oblivion Reborn from grief.Eternal darkness reign above me, on this oppressive night Snows of coal.The image of your grave stuck in my head As dead as you.
LoserTrying onceTwiceAgainAnd againFailing onceTwiceAgainAnd againFeelingLike crapUselessPowerlessWeakScreamingAnd cryingIn frustrationFeeling likeA fucking loser...
Bound by BurdensLonging for redemption,longing for release...