BrokenCan't fixwhat's never been whole.
This Is Depression The darknessand Iare one.
Foolish...You can't undothe damage done-You can't relivethose lonely years-You can't resuscitatesomeone who haslong ago since drowned...And you cannot menda broken heartwith the useof a simple "I'm sorry."
The Death of Her......And so the heavy handof human nature crushedthe remnants of her sanity.Reality stilled theirregular beating of her will;the Darkness further shroudedher withered innocence. "She was drowning...But nobody saw her struggle..." She succumbed to her misery.The Darkness triumphed.
Childhood Thoughts...Always a houseNever a home...
...And Her Name Was 'Ana' It was in my distant and depressing middle school days, that I’d become well-acquainted with a girl named Ana. I can remember, quite vividly in fact, when we first met during the first trimester of the sixth grade. Those were the days; those elementary school days. Though my peers and I were younger and much more naïve back then, I cannot help but feel so conclusive that, despite of our lack of worldly knowledge, we were still so inexcusably cruel. The experience was unlike those of later years to come. Indeed: it was much more scarring. Perhaps, that simple expression “words hurt,” is what led me to Ana. She was the ideal kind of girl; little Miss California, Ana was. Her lengthy, slim figure could sell any sort of attire that adorned it, and her translucent, glowing, pale skin sparkled in the light of the sun just as flecks of quartz would in a sidewalk. But it was her hair, and her eyes - oh her eyes!- that everyo
Bound by BurdensLonging for redemption,longing for release...
SolitudeFrom dusk to dawn,my soul...it lingerscold andalonein this desolate placethat we callreality.Though inhabitedby many,these arebleak andforsaken grounds.I feel thatI'm trappedwith no way out,no escape,no blissawaiting me...Without a future,without a purpose,my yearning soul...it roamsthis earth;this grave...As the darknesscontinues toconsume me...As the numbnessfeeds onthe remnantsof my sanitya littleeach day.
Mental SuicideI just might kill myself again.
UnspokenFor the loveI never shared.For the thingsI'll never tell.For all the secretsBig and small.For the timesI ignored the calls.For all the wordsI left unspoken.I'm now drowningIn my emotions.
People might arguePeople might arguethat the world wide web causes people to no longer carebut who are they to judgewhen they haven't stayed up all nightdesperately trying to convince a stranger out of suicide?Fingers frantically flying across the keyshoping somehow to make a differencePeople might arguethat it closes you offbut who are they to judgewhen sometimes the only place people can findhopefriendshipcomfortis on a screenwhere they cannot be judged by their appearancePeople might arguethat it is evilfull of hateBut they do not realizesometimes the hateis still therewhen the screen is turned off
Hate Sleeping AloneEach nightI lay in bed...Letting my coversTry to keep me warmThough they're neverAs warm as your arms.Letting my dreamsTry to soothe meInto a deathly calmThough they're neverAs calming as yourQuiet snores.Letting hundreds of sheepTry to caress my eyesTo finally closeThough they shall neverComfort meIn the way your gentle handIn mine will.And while the covers may tryThey will never fill the placeWhere you slept beside me.My dreams will neverFill the emptiness leftWithout your breathe.The sheep will neverLift me awayLike the comfort of knowingThat your near meAnd that youWill be the first thing I seeWhen I wakeAlways has.And each night I stay awakeBecause without youI'd rather not sleep.
Delusional Angel.Delusional Angel.Twist my mind up, influence me.It's all a dream darling, don't think it real.We're just passing through; or is life passing through us?Wrap yourself around me, love––hold me through the storm.Do you feel that beating, love?––it's in sync with the universe.Life is but a moment; surging through eternity.This, right now is but a coinciding instant.We have survived the world, lovely. Do you see it?Remember me in the morning dear, tonight is absolute.Pale pink lips and sweet bits.Sketches and coffee spots.Full moons and breaking points.Vinyl vibes and genuine conversation.Red wine and lipstick streaks.Kisses and contemplation.© Rocio Belinda Mendez
fivemaybe if i tear out myveins, replace them withflowers, stitch myself up withlace and ribbons, i'll be pretty
sixhe plucked six white rosesfor meand even though they'll diein a week,it's matchless to any other gifti've received
RIPMy poetry book diedBut it wasn’t all that sadIt lived a lifeFilled with wordsWas well usedAnd treated with the utter most respectBecame oldAnd fullSoon falling apartReplacedBy anotherWho will try its bestTo fill its shoesBecause my poetry bookHas no more roomTo be written in
Wake Up, DorothyWell, they took my nameYeah, they stole it allThey said, “Little girl, you’ll be a barbie doll.”We'll buy all your friendsYou’ll be the perfect sizeYou’ll be the first place golden ribbon Nobel prizeBut you can't be gayWe’d rather you’d be biThey said, “Sex is what sells, sweetie; so, don’t be shy.”We’ll dress you upYou’ll be designer chicYou’ll be the hottest little thing in the news this weekWe’ll hide your dirty laundryWhile we wash your mindThey said, “Wake up, Dorothy; you’ve left Kansas behind.”So, I wrecked myselfYeah, like they planned I wouldI said, “Long live the dying heroes of Hollywood."They can bury me underBut the dirt will caveI said, “You can’t keep a living spirit locked in a grave.”
TearsFighting, yelling, screaming voicesThat's all I seem to hearrunning, hiding those are my choicesAs I wipe away a tear Bang, slam yes things are breakingThreats and blames fill the airall while my heart is achingAs I wipe away a tear Eyes running nose stuffy and I sit upon my bedI wish I didn't live hereSometimes I wish I were deadAs I wipe away a tear If this is marriage just waiting for anger to fallLiving in this fearThen I'd rather not marry at allAs I wipe away a tear
When You LeftThe first nightI said"I'm fine.""I'm fine."But insideI wishedI was deadThe second nightI criedMyselfTo sleepWhile saying"I can't handle this"The third nightI walkedOut of my own lifeAnd left everyoneI knowBehindThe forth nightI said"I'm used to itby now"But I can't tell youHow dead I wasInside
Self hate.You're pissing me offQuit bringing me downI've had enoughOf walking around with a frownYou threw away my most precious possessionAll my emotions made place for aggressionThen came hatred followed by depression Everyone ignored it with this same empty expression Quit calling me slutDon't bring up those stories filled with painQuit making me cutDon't make me jump underneath the free-trainJust shut up and hear me outAll you need to do is listen that's itYou have no clue what this is aboutYou're destroying me bit by bitI want you to disappearThe well I'm in is far too deepOnly because you're hereI wish for eternal sleepI hate you!I hate..I.
TimeTimeis upon us,they announcedto an audience ofmillions.We alllooked aheadand continued on ourways,mute callson deaf ears.Time stepped out,cigarette in shakinghand, eyeshalf closed inresignation.Grim linesstood out near hismouth, grim linesnear his grayeyes, grim lines,grim lines,grim.I wonderwhat could be hiddenwithin suchempty eyes.I have to wonderhow many times he'sasked Deathto kill him.I bet Death tells him"Without you,there's nothing."Then I start to wonderwhy he stillhasn't done it.MaybeTime is justeternal,and how heavythat must be.Timegives me a wave.Timehas a watchon his left wrist.I betthe only time heever smiles,is when he looks at itand thinks,"You know,this thing keeps timebetter than I do."
Please Come Back.I'm sorryfor putting those bruises on your waistI held on too tightlybecause I was so afraidof what would happenif I were to let go.
~ How Dare You ~How dare youYou spinner of lovely words...How dare you weave me a web of glistening endearmentsOnly to trap me in their sticky, meaningless embrace?How dare youYou artist of deception...How dare you paint me a picture of loveThat was only a forgery to begin with?How dare youYou bearer of lovely items...How dare you shower me with priceless affectionsThat in the end were mere plastic coins?How dare youYou coward of a human being...How dare you claim to be a brave knightOnly to run before the battle even began?How dare youYou double-sided coin...How dare you show me your clean faceOnly to expose the filth that lay with a simple flip?How dare youYou foul excuse for a human...How dare you claim me as your precious treasureOnly to abandon me as if I were only trash?How dare youYou inconsiderate, spoiled child...How dare you take possession of my fragile heartOnly to throw it back once you had broken it?How dare you...?
Only WordsIt's all harmless fun,He knows I'm kidding He's constantly giving reasons That make me want to dieSure, he's a hideous thing,But that's not my fault He tells me how ugly I am, That I'm some monstrous beingHe's the biggest nerd everHe deserves to know his level He steals my glasses, hits my books Tells me to stop the "genius act"I'm always sure to tell othersHow we're just playing around He tells the teachers, "we're friends", About ho
Look Past The ObviousCool blackEyes gleamNo one dares go near meThey think I'm a monsterThey think darkness is my soulThey see devil hornsThey see knives in my maneThey see dried blood on my fingertipsThey fear meThey fight meThey hurt meThey hate meThey never thinkWhat ifThere are dusty angel wings there?There is a broken rim of golden light?That glass pierces its heartBut it still trys to be good?The knives are thereBecause they were thrown at it?The blood is thereBecause it helped a fallen warrior?It stays in the shadowsFor its protection?Every time it crawls outDeath meets it?That all it wantsIs a ChanceIs a Friend
No Happy EndingsPop one pill,Lie there still,Pop a second,Dawn of reckoning.Lost and wandering,In the dark of home,Falling and stumbling,In this house alone.One step forward,Two steps back,All your senses,Under attack.Succumb to the hazy blaze,With your mind a maze,Collapse down on broken knees,The room fills with a summer breeze.There is no happy ending,There is no-one to save you,There is no redemption,Now your vision turning blue.There is no light,At the end of the tunnel,Our lives are a fight,Is it worth the trouble?Run or die,Fall or fly,Climb or fall,Please or Appal.
tenI've politely declined deathfor maybe the seventh timebut he's a rather persistentfellow; he never lets myfingerstray toofar fromthe trigger
DryCutting myself drybecause of you.
I can relate..
I hope you feel better soon~