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Poetry by OrientalArc


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Submitted on
January 4
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Falling…
Falling,
  falling
  into a
  bottomless
  pit…

The final resting place
in which unresolved matters
of conflicting emotions
reside.

All anger!
Hate!
Grief!
Depression!
and regret…
Lie   h i d d e n .   in the grave
in which they were buried under.

So hard I’ve strived.
to hide the bitterness
and negativity
of my
thoughts and feelings.
I’ve invested plenty.
in trying
to cover up the  s   t  a  i n s;
bleach them away…

Yet they resurface again.
making themselves more familiar
to my eye and heart,
if so is possible.
Pushing their way back.
into my mind filled
with the   l  i  e  s.
of happiness and joy;
of false security and comfort.




I know.
That nothing.
can enlighten me now.
as I cry the night away;
my pain gnawing at my soul,
feasting away on the   c  r  u  m  b s
of my dignity and pride.

I know.
I cannot be saved.
as I bleed a steady stream
of scarlet tears.
trickling from my heart
with no reason to beat.
So bright were my eyes,
the windows to my soul;
the beacons of light.
that had the ability
to   n u m b   the pain.
of the bereaved
and the dying.

They now don a shadow.
of darkness.
the familiar sheen
that could light up
those of others,
now flickers.
and continues to dim…
As I keep falling.
 falling.
falling.
into a

 


    bottomless
    pit…

Where all the ghosts
of my hidden past
shall forever haunt me
for eternity.
Just a poem that I wrote not too long ago. Hope you like it. ^.^
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconpoeticalcondition: critique:

:O_o: while the opening and ending give a feeling of falling into a bottomless pit, the rest of the poem went over my head ^^;

If I interpret this poem, what I get is that a person is being buried and that person, while being buried, is describing their experience and what they had felt while falling into the bottomless pit. Its in essence, a dirge of sorts. A lament or something similar :shrug:

If that's the case, then it works well. Apart from that, it just flowed, but I didn't have a hold on the plot or the direction of this poem. A bit of reminders from the life of the protagonist might aid this poem for that reason. At the same time, it could help in giving more food for thought to the concept you've discussed in this work. Again, this is an opinion, so feel free to discard it. Keep writing.
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you very for your critique. I truly do appreciate it.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime. Take care.
Reply
:iconthe-silver-rose599:
The-Silver-Rose599 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I felt that a few months ago but i never tried to hid my anger or bitternesd or negativity but it feels like it's consumed me O.O
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Student Writer
Keep fighting my friend. Keep fighting. Heart 
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:iconthe-silver-rose599:
The-Silver-Rose599 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I will. :D
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:iconhanarenee:
HanaRenee Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
me. truly.
Reply
:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Student Writer
As I said earlier, keep your head up high. Stay strong Love. Heart 
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:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
So hard I’ve strived.
to hide the bitterness
and negativity
of my
thoughts and feelings.
I’ve invested plenty.
in trying
to cover up the  s   t  a  i n s;
bleach them away…
______________________

Yes. This is exactly what has been occupying my mind for many months now as I shuffle through everything else. Now that it is in front of me, black on white, I must confront it. I must try...
Reply
:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Writer
You are strong, not matter what anyone tells you... No matter what your MIND repeatedly nags you about... You ARE strong. You will surpass this... After all, there must be a reason as to why you're even still considering to finally confront this situation, right? Because you know, somewhere deep inside... You can, and you WILL overcome this. My best wishes to you. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. Heart 
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