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Submitted on
January 4, 2014
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Falling…
Falling,
  falling
  into a
  bottomless
  pit…

The final resting place
in which unresolved matters
of conflicting emotions
reside.

All anger!
Hate!
Grief!
Depression!
and regret…
Lie   h i d d e n .   in the grave
in which they were buried under.

So hard I’ve strived.
to hide the bitterness
and negativity
of my
thoughts and feelings.
I’ve invested plenty.
in trying
to cover up the  s   t  a  i n s;
bleach them away…

Yet they resurface again.
making themselves more familiar
to my eye and heart,
if so is possible.
Pushing their way back.
into my mind filled
with the   l  i  e  s.
of happiness and joy;
of false security and comfort.




I know.
That nothing.
can enlighten me now.
as I cry the night away;
my pain gnawing at my soul,
feasting away on the   c  r  u  m  b s
of my dignity and pride.

I know.
I cannot be saved.
as I bleed a steady stream
of scarlet tears.
trickling from my heart
with no reason to beat.
So bright were my eyes,
the windows to my soul;
the beacons of light.
that had the ability
to   n u m b   the pain.
of the bereaved
and the dying.

They now don a shadow.
of darkness.
the familiar sheen
that could light up
those of others,
now flickers.
and continues to dim…
As I keep falling.
 falling.
falling.
into a

 


    bottomless
    pit…

Where all the ghosts
of my hidden past
shall forever haunt me
for eternity.
Just a poem that I wrote not too long ago. Hope you like it. ^.^
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconpoeticalcondition: critique:

:O_o: while the opening and ending give a feeling of falling into a bottomless pit, the rest of the poem went over my head ^^;

If I interpret this poem, what I get is that a person is being buried and that person, while being buried, is describing their experience and what they had felt while falling into the bottomless pit. Its in essence, a dirge of sorts. A lament or something similar :shrug:

If that's the case, then it works well. Apart from that, it just flowed, but I didn't have a hold on the plot or the direction of this poem. A bit of reminders from the life of the protagonist might aid this poem for that reason. At the same time, it could help in giving more food for thought to the concept you've discussed in this work. Again, this is an opinion, so feel free to discard it. Keep writing.
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you very for your critique. I truly do appreciate it.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime. Take care.
Reply
:iconthe-silver-rose599:
The-Silver-Rose599 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I felt that a few months ago but i never tried to hid my anger or bitternesd or negativity but it feels like it's consumed me O.O
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Student Writer
Keep fighting my friend. Keep fighting. Heart 
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:iconthe-silver-rose599:
The-Silver-Rose599 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I will. :D
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:iconhanarenee:
HanaRenee Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
me. truly.
Reply
:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Student Writer
As I said earlier, keep your head up high. Stay strong Love. Heart 
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:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
So hard I’ve strived.
to hide the bitterness
and negativity
of my
thoughts and feelings.
I’ve invested plenty.
in trying
to cover up the  s   t  a  i n s;
bleach them away…
______________________

Yes. This is exactly what has been occupying my mind for many months now as I shuffle through everything else. Now that it is in front of me, black on white, I must confront it. I must try...
Reply
:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Writer
You are strong, not matter what anyone tells you... No matter what your MIND repeatedly nags you about... You ARE strong. You will surpass this... After all, there must be a reason as to why you're even still considering to finally confront this situation, right? Because you know, somewhere deep inside... You can, and you WILL overcome this. My best wishes to you. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. Heart 
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
None of my personal friends know just how dark my soul was at one time. Joining dA and returning to writing has helped a lot. I thought at first I was going to spill my darker thoughts out of me, but instead, I am following a different path - a more caring and sharing one. Everything else is still there, of course, but it is fading. I just need to work hard at keeping it down.

Thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate it! :hug:
Reply
:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Student Writer
I totally understand where your coming from... But it is so much better and relieving to release your accumulated emotions through writing, art, or a more creative and productive manner. But just as PatternVSUser said... Negativity exists. At one point or another, you'll have to deal with it. It will be difficult, but you just gotta tell yourself that you and the darkness are separate; you are stronger than the oppressor. And you're more than welcome; it was my pleasure. ^.^ If you ever need someone to talk to or just need someone to listen... Just send me a note! I'll be  more than happy to do so!!! ^.^
Reply
:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
It IS so much better to release it all, isn't it? :-)

I must admit, I believe that in certain respects, artists should be appreciative that negativity does exist. It fuels so much writing and visual art. It would be wonderful in a way to have nothing to write about but happiness and positivity, but wouldn't it all become less interesting to us over time?

Thanks also for offering to talk or listen. I've actually just begun a connective conversation via Notes with someone, so I am experiencing the two-way benefit of it here on dA already. I most certainly believe in the healing power of conversation! Thank you again! :-)
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Student Writer
No problem at all! Just keep in mind that if you need someone to listen... I'll be here on dA!! ^.^ 
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:iconedges-to-everything:
Edges-to-Everything Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
:hug:
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:iconsplatter789:
splatter789 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love how the poem is semi-long so the words go off the visible page and do seem to actually be falling!
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! ^.^ And it was lovely for you to notice my intention. ^.^
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:iconsplatter789:
splatter789 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!
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:iconccfirebloom:
ccfirebloom Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student General Artist
Falling in the black.
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:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Yes... In to darkness and despair...
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:iconpatternvsuser:
PatternVSUser Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I loved the more visual side of this, like the spacing in the word 'crumbs' or how the words really do seem to fall.

There's no need to hide negativity. It exists. The only way to deal with it is head-on.
Reply
:iconchristiahlove:
christiahlove Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you very much. :) And that is true. It's now or never. :/ 
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