Childhood Thoughts...Always a houseNever a home...
BrokenCan't fixwhat's never been whole.
NumbI'm so numbthat ithurts.
This Is Depression The darknessand Iare one.
DryCutting myself drybecause of you.
SolitudeFrom dusk to dawn,my soul...it lingerscold andalonein this desolate placethat we callreality.Though inhabitedby many,these arebleak andforsaken grounds.I feel thatI'm trappedwith no way out,no escape,no blissawaiting me...Without a future,without a purpose,my yearning soul...it roamsthis earth;this grave...As the darknesscontinues toconsume me...As the numbnessfeeds onthe remnantsof my sanitya littleeach day.
Bound by BurdensLonging for redemption,longing for release...
Afraid and Alone...Tears stream downfrom forlorn eyesA fountain of purest substance,flooded with lies...Tainted by insult;my disrespected youthShrouded in deceitand deviated from the truth.Beaten down by thosewho held my trust...And taken advantage ofwith a searing lustConsequence camewith anything that I said;Whether 'twas fib or fact,my tears were shed.I barely withstoodtheir trembling furyTormented and questionedby my own kinsmen's jury...I could take it no longer;the road was too rough...My virtue was eclipsing;silence and faith wasn't enoughI lost my path in dusk;my innocence fled to darker landsWith a box of sharp objects,I took matters into my own hands...Shrouded by mists of confusion and pain,I didn't know what to doLeft afraid and alone,there was not one soul I could turn to...And even if there was...They wouldn't have cared to know...They wouldn't have cared at all...And they wouldn't have understood.
Cardiac ArrestBreak these chains Around my heart.
But, Isn't It Ironic,how can I writewhen I'm falling apartfaster than unraveled stringslosing sight of a false realitythat I forced myself to believe inbecause honestly, right now, nothing is clarityonly blurred words on pages and blurry shapes formed from tearsI'm all broken stanzas and waiting words, attempting to fly off pageswhile ink binds me to this filthy shade of white that wants to hold me backbut like the emotionally wracked author who cannot hold back I find that there is a waythe one way to contain yourself, to keep from falling apart like the broken sky in a stormis to display what you can't saythe shape of the stanzas hint at broken bodiesthe excess of words shows stories I've yet to tellthe number of lines, sometimes becomes, the number of times I've lostthe stories aren't just stories to me anymorethey're things I call fiction but are actually my levels of hellthat I've lived through and died through (I swear it isn't true)the rhythms and rhymes are times I wish I could bl
Stay AlivePlease.Talk to me.Tell me what shattered your heart inside.Your heart is beating, yet, you're not alive.You're hearing, yet, you're not listening.You've become a black shadow.Lifeless.I can see the demons in your eyes.Your eyes have glazed over.Your life is coming to an end.But yet, you're still healthy, still alive.You smile to hide your pain.But you're slowly dying inside.You keep saying 'I'm fine', when I know you're not.You tell me 'it's just a phase. Don't worry'But I've never worried so much before.You're like a leafYour beauty slowly withering away, unbeknownst to everyone around you.Soon, you're going to fall from the tree, and hit the ground.People will walk over you, ignoring how much pain they've caused your heart.But hold on.Please.It gets better, I promise.Your heart will beat once again.I'm hoping for a sign of life.I'm watching for those eyes to fill with joy, like they used to be.I beg you with all my heart.Stay alive.For me.
LostSick. Lost. I finally found peace.
The AcheLiving today to see you tomorrow.
A White AngelLet me expose my inner secrets through my bloodTo run down your eyesSo maybe you can glimpse my life.When the clock strikes twelve,Notice the jump in your heartWhen the bell starts to ringAnd demons singWelcoming you to what I see.Don't jump to conclusions yet!Let us see each others painBecause what else do you need to gainExcept anothers perspective?Accept what you do not know.Picture me in whiteBecause from twelve onI am the demon posessing your bodyAs you have witnessed my bloodAnd now you cry for God in the night.I want you to know,I simply take delight in your fearBecause my blood as sunk into your poursSending energy to me more and moreBecause what else do I have to gain except more life?
LOSTLOSTI cannot let it go,I'm gonna lose it all,My feelings just they flow,I cannot stop this fallI feel alone without you,I'm Losing All that Here's and True,I'm so alone without you,This is what love can really doI'm so Lost Inside of You,I'm Losing All that Here's and True,I'm so Alone Without You,Though I Never Was In YouI cannot let it go,I'm gonna lose it all,My feelings just they flow,I cannot stop this fallI'm Losing All that Here's and True,I'm so Lost Inside of You.
HeroFalling; until he gave me wings.
Where's Your Self-Esteem?"I'm a mess.""A beautiful mess."
Valentine's GiftChocolate, rosesI don't need those-- because IHave something sweeter
'Good Girls Don't Make a Fuss'Mother always said "good girls don't make a fuss"stand up straightcurtsyhide the scars on your wrists with the sleeves of your dress.Prim, properstay at arm's lengtheven though you want to press onto this stranger with all of your might"good girls don't make a fuss".Can't go dancing on tablessinging off keynokeep it to yourself until your sorrow runs crimson.
Hands of a KillerSilver and red paint me GUILTY.
RosieThere was a girl who wandered off...She never came back,Even when the skylight turned blackThere was worry, there was fearBut the town acceptedThe truth was here A cold caseA story for no one to hear Day after day the autumn grows darkThe town, the people, the flowers in the parkAll had dread for good news might never come Dead in the ground?Where has she gone? But it all went by, one cry at a timeOnly aged 11 ,but did it matter?Her family was shatteredEvery day was the same despairBut there was a boy who actually caredHe took flight on his red bicycle and didn't stopHe got to her house and his heart dropped... He couldn't believeHe felt deceivedBut he won't let this beHe ran to the woodsWhich no one should enterhe was brave and clever He ran fastHe ran fierce Rosie!Rosie!He yelled out loudThe woods were coldAll were dead, even soundHis voice was the on
Darkness vs. LightDarkness creeps so slowly,I am caught by surprise.Somehow my world plunges into unending sorrow.All it takes is a song,A poem,A nudge.Then I am falling.Silent screams echo in my ears.I struggle to find a light bright enough.Something to fend off the darkness like a sword.It isn’t fair to face the darkness knowing there is no escape.I will not die.I cannot.Life clings to me against my will.Where is my other half?My soul mate?My light?I don’t want to be alone,Facing down my demons without a shred of hope.Need me.Find me.Shine so brightly I will be drawn to you.I can’t forget I need to shine.I just feel as if my light is dimming.How will you find me if I am swallowed by my darkness?A light.A flame.A spark of hope.I need a way to defeat my sorrows,So I can help battle yours.Please.Just a glimmer of hope?
Bitter PillYour medicine tastes like poison because that's how you serve it.
Love HurtsSearching the endless maze that I call my mind, searching for that time when you were mine, when our hearts would beat together,The time we had together, I knew it wouldn't last forever, found out quicker now that love hurts, whenever I try to wonder,Love's a confusing game, that burns whenever it's game over, we try again, and over and over, to find the one we all dream of,Love's a consuming fire that burns inside, you think that it's get better than it comes to the end,Remembering those times we were together, I knew it wouldn't last forever, trying to find to some hope, where the darkness lies ahead, found out quicker than I thought I would that love hurts, Oh,Yeah, it's a confusing game that burns whenever, it's game over.
Mental SuicideI just might kill myself again.