BrokenCan't fixwhat's never been whole.
Mental SuicideI just might kill myself again.
...And Her Name Was 'Ana' It was in my distant and depressing middle school days, that I’d become well-acquainted with a girl named Ana. I can remember, quite vividly in fact, when we first met during the first trimester of the sixth grade. Those were the days; those elementary school days. Though my peers and I were younger and much more naïve back then, I cannot help but feel so conclusive that, despite of our lack of worldly knowledge, we were still so inexcusably cruel. The experience was unlike those of later years to come. Indeed: it was much more scarring. Perhaps, that simple expression “words hurt,” is what led me to Ana. She was the ideal kind of girl; little Miss California, Ana was. Her lengthy, slim figure could sell any sort of attire that adorned it, and her translucent, glowing, pale skin sparkled in the light of the sun just as flecks of quartz would in a sidewalk. But it was her hair, and her eyes - oh her eyes!- that everyo
Childhood Thoughts...Always a houseNever a home...
SolitudeFrom dusk to dawn,my soul...it lingerscold andalonein this desolate placethat we callreality.Though inhabitedby many,these arebleak andforsaken grounds.I feel thatI'm trappedwith no way out,no escape,no blissawaiting me...Without a future,without a purpose,my yearning soul...it roamsthis earth;this grave...As the darknesscontinues toconsume me...As the numbnessfeeds onthe remnantsof my sanitya littleeach day.
Shared Misfortune...I know how it feels to be lost.I know how it feels to have nowhere to goAnd there’s no one to trustI know how it feels when you’ve been hurtAnd the rage- the agony- becomes intolerable; uncontrollable The emotions run deep like toxin in your veinsYou just can’t force your hate upon othersYou despise yourself enough to self-inflictThe bleaknessYour crippled anger.The hatred inside.This misery of yours:You’re tired of it.This everlasting pain:You wonder when it will end...I know how it feels liketo believe in hopelessness...And to just not believe at all.And I know how it feelsWhen your best friends stray.When the ones you love, turn their backs on you;Go the other way.And everyone you turn toCriticizes what you can’t change.When the oppressor looms overhead to oppress.Even your reflection judges you;You dread to look in the mirror.I know how it feels likeTo not know where you belong.You don’t know where’s you
Bound by BurdensLonging for redemption,longing for release...
Help.Help me...Save me from myself.
Cardiac ArrestBreak these chains Around my heart.
LostSick. Lost. I finally found peace.
Please, understand.Ever since you told me how you feltThe pain and misery that you’ve heldEverything that you’re going throughI’ve done nothing else but to helpBut every time I listen to youI can’t help but to feel the sameMy morals detain me for leaving youBut I wouldn’t be the only one to blame
Gunshots from Tulips [Inhale. Exhale.]Only fools think of how the air was born.I scatter the sand to the lips of the ocean.The seashells and the corals could use the extraseeing as how I use mine on duplicate facsimiles,sitting on cloud clichés
every night my hair is falling outI have heard that in 7 yearsevery cell in your bodyis new& isn't it beautiful that it will bea body you have never touchedbut I know that when your brain cellsdiefall like ashes through your skullthey stay dead& I can never scrap the memories out of their corpses
Dreams And DiseaseEmbraced infant-like night time napsAs was brought forth fantastic fantasyIt was heavenly happinessDreaming of my love like my love was hereDeception roused me, if only I'd knownWaking up wouldn't have been an optionDisorientation and fatigue are symptomaticThe perfect pill that heals can currently killWaiting for the poisonWorse before better, near death before lifeSlow decay in the brain, forgotten feelingsSlight sight sends my sleeping mind deeperWelcome delicious darkness it's been too longEnter me and induce the inability to feelExhaustion defeats emotionI fear mornings wake as descending drift I takeMy dear dream disappears, he is nowhere nearMarried to misery, maybe this was meant to be
Meant To BeTake back some of your love.I'm not an angel for above.Of all the flaws that you see,Not a single one you find in me.You're in a circle of self hate.Can't you see that I inflate?What I'd do to make you smile;I'll try it once in a while.Kiss and hug is all you could ask.So I make up a destructive task.Cut you open, make you bleed.I'm the poison on which you feed.Somehow I'm amazing to you.Does it even matter what I do?Self esteem is way too low,But punishment is all I know.Trying to curb my sadistic waysOr you won't survive many days.Why can't love just be easy?Are we really meant to be?
NightmaresI know you, I walked with youOnce upon a dream…Actually, it was a nightmare-And I was running.
How Do I Declare My Feelings?The way your body crushesAgainst me so intimately -Chest to chest, groin to groin -Makes me feel so giddy; it's likeI'm relearning how to breathe.It feels like I'm suffocatingWhen at the same time I'm not; allThese sensations, marvelous andExciting, sends me into shock;I dance upon invisible electricity.This is my personal definition ofThe phrase passionate living.This is a mere tribute that greatlyCelebrates the wonder of the cosmos.But most of all...This is my declaration, one that isBorn from genuine heartfelt words.I owe it all to you, my other half.
Diamond In The Rough.Long hair and deep brown eyes so sad but full of hopeWalks over to his side and hands him a love noteThen he points and laughs at her for the feelings she confessedShe feels emptiness as a heartbeat in her chestAt home she’ll water down her pain with broken prideTrying to fix the girl who fell apart insideLong hair and deep brown eyes so sad and full of tearsShe’s not that different, but can’t fit in with her peersThey all have their looks and brand name clothesJust because she doesn’t, she’s the girl nobody knowsAnd this goes out to her; I just hope that it’s enoughTo let her know I see the diamond hidden in the rough
I Wish You Could TellI love you so muchMore than anyone beforeI wish you could tell
for the people with depression.one day, the pressure becomes hard to take.I don't know what to do, only know that it achesThe past is just haunting, and it keeps going onDon't know anything anymore, only that something is wrong.It was the loss of a love, the death of a friendHalf of my heart that I wish didn't endI knew he was gone, but I couldn't believeSo I hid the pain in cuts under my sleevesNo reason to smile, no reason to liveI cut because blood's the only thing I can giveBut now I know that I'm not alone, there's someone who caresOne person's gone but everyone else is still thereI know that it's painful, I know how you feel.I have depression, PTSD, I know that it's realBut one day I got up and hung into lifeAnd day by day, I avoided my knifeI wrote free verse poetry, shed all my tearsDrew all the good things I ever had in my yearsLittle by little, I healed very slowlyIt's not over yet, but I'm not as lonelyWhat I'm trying to tell you is to believe and to hopeYou don't have to die hanging
ConfessionI never really expected us to lastNever truly thought we'd make itCause when I surrendered my heart to youI was fully convinced you'd break it
shyNo one ever wondersAbout the shy kid in classThe one the sits aloneIn the corner all aloneShy and aloneScared of my own skinWhere does one turnWhen you can’t speak outSome people stareOthers ignoreBut no one wondersWhat the story isWhy do they seem brokenAll I ever hear is…What is their dealNo one reaches outTrys to get to know youThey just sit and stareOr try to ignoreI’m shy and aloneScared of my own skinBut where do I turnWhen I can’t speak outTrying to hide my facePraying not to get called onDon’t want attentionJust wanting to leaveTo go home and hideBecause what do I doWhen I’m shy and aloneScared of my own skinWhere do I turnWhen I can’t speak outAll shy and alone
LoveLove isn't romantic walks on the beachLove is learning to accept and not preachLove isn't falling asleep in his armsLove is reassuring all qualmsLove isn't watching the sunset at duskLove is knowing she smells of muskLove isn't buying her flowers each dayLove is saying the things hard to sayLove isn't writing a cheesy love songLove is accepting that sometimes you're wrongLove isn't easy and sometimes you're scarredLove is a battle and it can be hardLove isn't always the things you'd expectLove is trying not to be circumspectLove can be found for all walks of lifeLove is not just for husband and wifeLove can be seen between friend and friendLove is a treasure that lasts to the endLove is as difficult as you make it beLove is for you and love is for me
suicidal.it’s like she’s toeing the edge of a cliff andshe’s smiling and she’s deadlyand you’re standing too far back to save herand it’s just too late because she’s aboutto jump.---if you want a list of reasons not to commit suicide,here it is.1. you have two dogs that will miss you.they were wagging their tails and smilinglast night when they took you to the hospitaland i couldn’t find the words to tell themthat they should be quiet.2. you have a car that you cried when you gotand you roll the windows down and blast musicwhenever you pick me up from schooland i’m sorry i never sang along, but this is just to saythat you have things that still make you feel alive.3. you have a sister that is nice about fifteen percent of the timeand loves you the rest of it. trust me, she does.she does not remember the last time she hugged youbut she wrote about you when her teacher asked herwho her hero was.4.4.4. mom should
Who and WhyWho are you? I am me.Why are you? Because I can.
LiarYou said we'd do this togetherThat we'll see this through to the endSide by sideAs brothers in arms.You said you'd always have my backThat I won't have to do this aloneWe're partnersNothing could stop us.Then why?Why won't you open your eyes?Why won't you say anything?Why won't you answer me?It can't end this way!You said we'd do this together.You said you'd always have my back.Liar.
Caught Red-handedYour blood washed away my sins.
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NumbI'm so numbthat ithurts.