SolitudeFrom dusk to dawn,my soul...it lingerscold andalonein this desolate placethat we callreality.Though inhabitedby many,these arebleak andforsaken grounds.I feel thatI'm trappedwith no way out,no escape,no blissawaiting me...Without a future,without a purpose,my yearning soul...it roamsthis earth;this grave...As the darknesscontinues toconsume me...As the numbnessfeeds onthe remnantsof my sanitya littleeach day.
This Is Depression The darknessand Iare one.
Falling...Falling…Falling, falling into a bottomless pit…The final resting placein which unresolved mattersof conflicting emotionsreside.All anger!Hate!Grief!Depression!and regret…Lie h i d d e n . in the gravein which they were buried under.So hard I’ve strived.to hide the bitternessand negativityof mythoughts and feelings.I’ve invested plenty.in tryingto cover up the s t a i n s;bleach them away…Yet they resurface again.making themselves more familiarto my eye and heart,if so is possible.Pushing their way back.into my mind filledwith the l i e s.of happiness and joy;of false security and comfort.I know.That nothing.can enlighten me now.as I cry the night away;my pain gnawing at my soul,feasting away on the c r u m b sof my dignity and pride.I know.I cannot be saved.as I bleed a steady streamof
Childhood Thoughts...Always a houseNever a home...
Afraid and Alone...Tears stream downfrom forlorn eyesA fountain of purest substance,flooded with lies...Tainted by insult;my disrespected youthShrouded in deceitand deviated from the truth.Beaten down by thosewho held my trust...And taken advantage ofwith a searing lustConsequence camewith anything that I said;Whether 'twas fib or fact,my tears were shed.I barely withstoodtheir trembling furyTormented and questionedby my own kinsmen's jury...I could take it no longer;the road was too rough...My virtue was eclipsing;silence and faith wasn't enoughI lost my path in dusk;my innocence fled to darker landsWith a box of sharp objects,I took matters into my own hands...Shrouded by mists of confusion and pain,I didn't know what to doLeft afraid and alone,there was not one soul I could turn to...And even if there was...They wouldn't have cared to know...They wouldn't have cared at all...And they wouldn't have understood.
BrokenCan't fixwhat's never been whole.
The Death of Her......And so the heavy handof human nature crushedthe remnants of her sanity.Reality stilled theirregular beating of her will;the Darkness further shroudedher withered innocence. "She was drowning...But nobody saw her struggle..." She succumbed to her misery.The Darkness triumphed.
Bound by BurdensLonging for redemption,longing for release...
DryCutting myself drybecause of you.
PhaseYou feel aloneNo place is homeThere’s no one thereTo love and careYou think that’s itFall into the pitJust sorrow and painEverything to gainYou need to seeThere’s no reason to fleeIt’s just a phaseLike a cut or grazeIt heals fastFalls into the pastGets you downFor a moment you frownFind your lightWin the fightContinue to liveLove, laugh and giveDon’t notice the badThat makes you sadThink of the goodThat’s covered by this hoodLook and findYour peace of mindAll I can sayDon’t give up today
Life is a battle...A battle from your very first to your last breath.You shall not surrender to your persistent bullies,Draw your sharp blade against these unremitting demonsFight till they learn you're worth living on this inhospitable Earth.The diamond armor of your personnality to protect against their noisy scythes.On this muddy battlefield where darkness swallow the most quiet soulsNever give up until the bleeding moon crushes on your cowardly foes.Once you'll climb this tough and lonely phase of a livingYou'll hear the distant victorious warbling,And ultimately affirm you can finally live as a human being.
WhispersI am smeared......across your lips and mouth.Slandered by a snake with scales like flesh.Your eyes blister......they ignite and extinguish my fire.Cursed by a cat with a tongue-like tail.My blood burns......as you thread your talons through it.Kissed by a corpse with fangs named Fear.
ALONEHow I feel at any momentALONEHow can I tell someoneand what will they dowhen I want toso dearly and helplessly,to run away from this world?ALONEAnd because I am so strongI am able to live a lifefull and not dullALONEMy thoughts and my mindlet my true feelingsthat have been bubbling upall let outin a burst of painful emotionALONEI wish that Ididn't always feel soALONEI wish that Icould find a wayto rid myselfof these horrid thoughtsALONEI wish that my true emotionswould show throughwhen I can be consolledand not beALONEIn the endwill I always be soALONE?Where am I when a hugwould cure me ofthe simplest or most complicated distress?ALONEWhere will I always bewhen consolation would be great?ALONE
I Hate MyselfI hate myself.No hatred is stronger than mine.Nothing can compare,No other can measure against this.People's advice of "It will get better,"I never accept,because they have not been through the pain I've went through.They just don't understand.So, I'll just throw it all away.Inject the love into me. Take all of me and fuck me senseless like the filthy whore I am.I want you to abuse me,I want to feel something, I want to feel again. I hate being insecure.I hate being short.I hate being stupid.I hate being ugly.I hate my voice.I hate my laugh.I hate fairy-tale movies with happy endings. I hate capitalism. I hate dreaming big.I hate optimistic, ignorant people. I hate being a freak. I hate being judged.I hate having friends that are mostly girls and I'm a guy.I hate having no friends to hang out with.I hate my reflection.I hate being weak, my vulnerability.I hate leaving my family ashamed of me.I hate that I can neve
TriggerBetrayal and derisionWere the bullets in your gun,And you shot with the skill and precisionOf a seasoned marksman.But just as I was expiringon the edge of existence,You decided that the seaWould not carry meOff to a diluted heaven.You brought me back,Back in the lonely tower,Where you fed me lies, coated in sugary syllables,Pretending they were medicine.You rubbed salt in to my wounds as you stitched them shut.I needed rest.While I slept,You blocked off pathsthat might have led to another's hospitality.Demons were outside the window.They watched as I suffered,Hoping I would die.But I could not.Slowly, painfully,I recovered.You sometimes check my vital signs.I am held together,But never whole.You never could remove that one last bullet,Can't heal the hole in my heart.
My Sweet DementorYour thirst for my soul I can barely resist,but I kinda need it if you get my gist.For if I should lose it I'd love you no more!I'd suffer a demise worse than Dumbledore.Your tattery wraith-rags make me feel so weak.This poem is much more than cold tongue-and-cheek.Your rattling breath smells just like a rose;I suck it in deep so it goes up my nose.I don't really care that I can't see your face,mystery is the notion all over the place.My friends keep insisting we'll never work out,they're just talking about something they know nothing about.My family's insisting that I've gone insane,it's simply true love that's infecting my brain.I've come to Azkaban to steal you away;we'll savor a picnic and enjoy the day.You float over the water and extend your hand,I gasp in submission and collapse where I stand.Proclaim adoration as you draw me near,floating in silence with no room for fear.I'm feeling so faint as I look in your hood,who knew I'd be shy in the face of such goo
The EndThere are shards of arctic skyin my soupand they crackagainst my voice boxand they snapinto my burnt-out throatand they scrapetheir graffiti on my sternum.The sky lives in me for a moment.A biting skythat fights for resurrection;it pools in my eyesand begs to be readin the subtext of a stormy exhale --and that North windheads north, heads spinning - heads.Heads. Guildernstern is deadAll are betrayers.They tempted the madness in me.They spoke to it.It grew bigger. I grew bigger.I grew until madness blacked the sunand now,now:there are shards of arctic skyin my stomach.For I have seen humanity spread thinover the mouldy crust of a dead rock.I have seen them abolish my starsand blot out hope.They grew me,they cultivated me, groomed meand now there are shards of the sky,pinwheeling in my oesophagus.Now the madness has eaten the moon.Now, We are over.
cigarettesi started slowlykilling myself so my arthad a chance to live.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,I will only ever lieWhen you ask me if I’m fineOr if I like this life of mine.If I had a gun,I’d put it to my headAnd turn bouncy blonde,Into ruby red.You want me to stop cutting;I’ll stop when I’m dead.The last time I’ll cutWill be the last thing I seeWhen I finally put an end to me.Dying sounds good right now,Just fading into blackAnd never coming backTo the agony living brings.Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,Or bleeding,Or after OD’ing;Someday soon you’ll find me,Finally free.It’s too late now,I’m too far gone.Now I’m just a ghostOf who could’ve been someone.
ShadowsHer silhouette is beautiful.Her eyes…when she cries are like ice.A face frozen in time.A wonder to behold.She stares back at me with grey pupils.Her brown hair dances in the wind.She tells me she feels dead inside.But to feel dead is alive.Or so I’ve been told…Feeling alone is alive.To feel something is alive.So I don’t push her away.I motion her to come closer.And she doesShe creeps closerAnd closer.Emotionless.Like the object that she is.Like the robot that she is.She tells me that she hates me.I shrug it off. I don’t care.But her words pierce meShe’s good at itLike she’s Ares.But we’re a single being,Whether she likes it or not.She is part of who I am.I am part of who she is.We’re made of each other,We’re made for each other.We see through each other like glass.We understand each other’s darknessBecause we’ve experienced it together.There
Broken and despisedLittle girlOnce so inocentNow broken to the coreOf her very beingHer once free mindNow trapped in a nightmareHer once pure heartShattered into tiny piecesHer once hopeful soulOverwhelmed by darkness and despairAnd no one noticesBecause she hides her scarsUnder long sleevesBecause she hides her painBehind a fake smile...
goddesssky mother, i buried myself once.i was not a seedling, just a cutting, but in the arms offather earth, not sure where to go,i faced the sun. do you want to meet him again? you can't see himtoday, but he left shards of himself in me,my love, you would like him.He is forever, like the ocean, but while it's gentle, and warm, and bright.i once dropped a basket of wildflowers onto his heart and he planted them there.(and i hope he isn't like the others, i hope he doesn't let them drown.)because, sometimes, i wish i weren't as delicate as thoseforget-me-nots i braid intomy hair, i love too much and need even more.my lips still tingle with his laughterwisdom, you were always a storyteller, sotell me,why am i not the same, why are therestars trapped in my ribcage and nebulae bursting in my heart,really,how long will it take this constellation veined girl to find herself again?
Despair and Hope.Defeated, ill treated, a spirit torn apart.Betrayed, waylaid, the shredding of a heart.Forlorn, still born, hopes for a future bright.Unfed, half dead, strangled by fears too tight.Unmourned, scorned, the innocent are crushed.Still green, unseen, under rugs are brushed.Ill used, abused, cast down into despair.Reach up, reach out, look up and I'll be there.Support, self taught, together we are strong.A team, no seam, try to right a wrong.I'll be there, I care, I'll try with all my power.We two, me and you, are growing future's flower.
watch me.hang autumn in ropes, Let it die to winter,I have had enough of crackling leaves and cracking hearts.
Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teethBegging my wristFor one chasteKiss.Grinning at me, that evil smirkMaking my heart poundGoing berserk.So sharp soGoodI know ICouldAnd really IWouldBecause IShould.Arm’s too full of bloodOf scarsFrom attempts toJoin the stars.Photo album ofRuby caressesMy diary of myCrimson lamentShowing oneStatement;I am stillAlive.
.if thesewalls couldtalkthen i'm surethey'd bescreamingget out,burn usdown,we can'tbearto hold youanylonger(been too busy dreaming to get any sleep)
My love is a fire, you are the fuel.And I'm burning you into ashes.
Point of ViewMy world has crumbledto black and whiteDulled to a rainbowof graysHardly a wispof color in sight...Only darkness remains.